I wish I could take credit for this, but...
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It was sent to me by a Republican friend... yes, I know Republicans... some of them are even relatives. But I can't stop laughing over this, whoever wrote really understands my dilemma with both parties:
>>>"A cowboy named Bud was overseeing his herd in a remote mountainous pasture in Colorado when suddenly a brand-new BMW advanced out of a dust cloud towards him.
The driver, a young man in a Brioni suit, Gucci shoes, RayBan sunglasses and YSL tie, leans out the window and asks the cowboy, "If I tell you exactly how many cows and calves you have in your herd, Will you give me a calf?"
Bud looks at the man, then looks at his peacefully grazing herd and calmly answers; "Sure, Why not?"
The man parks his car, whips out his Dell notebook computer, connects it to his Cingular RAZR V3 cell phone, and surfs to a NASA page on the Internet, where he calls up a GPS satellite to get an exact fix on his location which he then feeds to another NASA satellite that scans the area in an ultra-high-resolution photo.
The young man then opens the digital photo in Adobe Photoshop and exports it to an image processing facility in Hamburg, Germany
Within seconds, he receives an email on his Palm Pilot that the image has been processed and the data is stored. He then accesses a MS-SQL database through an ODBC connected Excel spreadsheet, after a few minutes, receives a response.
Finally, he prints out a full-color, 150-page report on his hi-tech, miniaturized HP LaserJet printer and finally turns to the cowboy and says, "You have exactly 1,586 cows and calves."
"That's right. Well, I guess you can take one of my calves," says Bud.
He watches the young man select one of the animals and looks on amused as the young man stuffs it into the trunk of his car.
Then the Bud says to the young man, "Hey, if I can tell you exactly what your business is, will you give me back my calf?"
The young man thinks about it for a second and then says, "Okay, why not?"
"You're a Congressman", says Bud.
"Wow! That's correct," says the man, "but how did you guess that?"
"No guessing required," answered the cowboy. "You showed up here even though nobody invited you; you want to get paid for an answer I already knew, to a question I never asked. You tried to show me how much smarter than me you are; and you don't know a thing about cows...this is a herd of sheep. Now give me back my dog.">>>
After reading this, my first question was how many taxpayer dollars the congressman spent to count the 'cows?'
>>>"A cowboy named Bud was overseeing his herd in a remote mountainous pasture in Colorado when suddenly a brand-new BMW advanced out of a dust cloud towards him.
The driver, a young man in a Brioni suit, Gucci shoes, RayBan sunglasses and YSL tie, leans out the window and asks the cowboy, "If I tell you exactly how many cows and calves you have in your herd, Will you give me a calf?"
Bud looks at the man, then looks at his peacefully grazing herd and calmly answers; "Sure, Why not?"
The man parks his car, whips out his Dell notebook computer, connects it to his Cingular RAZR V3 cell phone, and surfs to a NASA page on the Internet, where he calls up a GPS satellite to get an exact fix on his location which he then feeds to another NASA satellite that scans the area in an ultra-high-resolution photo.
The young man then opens the digital photo in Adobe Photoshop and exports it to an image processing facility in Hamburg, Germany
Within seconds, he receives an email on his Palm Pilot that the image has been processed and the data is stored. He then accesses a MS-SQL database through an ODBC connected Excel spreadsheet, after a few minutes, receives a response.
Finally, he prints out a full-color, 150-page report on his hi-tech, miniaturized HP LaserJet printer and finally turns to the cowboy and says, "You have exactly 1,586 cows and calves."
"That's right. Well, I guess you can take one of my calves," says Bud.
He watches the young man select one of the animals and looks on amused as the young man stuffs it into the trunk of his car.
Then the Bud says to the young man, "Hey, if I can tell you exactly what your business is, will you give me back my calf?"
The young man thinks about it for a second and then says, "Okay, why not?"
"You're a Congressman", says Bud.
"Wow! That's correct," says the man, "but how did you guess that?"
"No guessing required," answered the cowboy. "You showed up here even though nobody invited you; you want to get paid for an answer I already knew, to a question I never asked. You tried to show me how much smarter than me you are; and you don't know a thing about cows...this is a herd of sheep. Now give me back my dog.">>>
After reading this, my first question was how many taxpayer dollars the congressman spent to count the 'cows?'
John
Impeach Colorado Coalition-ImpeachCO.com
Link
PS.. Did ya know that Kucinich is going to
file his Impeach Bush resolution in the
US House on Monday Jan28, the day of
Bush's State Of THe Union address?
Should be interesting to see if the
media covers it.. doubtful..
their treason knows no bounds.
Like Bush they appear to think the
Constitution is just a
"goddamned piece of paper".
Oh well, the publishers and editors will
precede we common folk on the trip
to the gulag.
..
Kerry has nowhere near the stature of Kucinch on protecting the Constitution and the Separation Of Powers.
He showed the Country what a wimp he is in 2004.
The bartender says, 'Yep, that's him. 'So the guy walks over and says, 'Wow, this is a real honor! What are you doing in here?'
Bush says, 'I'm planning WW III.' The guy says, 'Really? What's going
to happen?'
Bush says, 'Well, I'm going to kill 140 million Muslims and one chimpanzee. The guy exclaimed, 'A chimpanzee?'
Why kill a blonde with big tits?'
Bush turns to the bartender and says, 'See, I told you, no one gives a shit about the 140 million Muslims'.